Things That Make You Go Hmm...: Enough with the Fascinators Already, I'm Begging You

Crown Princess Victoria was present for the ordination of a new bishop at Uppsala Cathedral on August 26th.

Dear Victoria,

That is not a hat.

A posh dreamcatcher, maybe, but definitely not a hat.

Just thought you should know.

Concerned about your facial tan lines,
-OoS

Photos: Svenskakyrkan/Skovdenyheter/Sodor

Week in Review: Princess Máxima, 1-7 July

1. Attending a concert of the Royal Concertgebouw Orchestra, 4 July. OH NO. One of my least favorite Máxima outfits of ALL TIME has RETURNED. NOOOOOOO. MORE CAPS LOCK.
2. At a museum exhibition opening, 5 July.
3. a and b) Annual family photo shoot, 7 July. But then! Seriously, I think this is the best Máx has looked (without an evening gown and tiara on) in for-e-ver. The trousers are so flattering, and look! A good hair day! Well done.

Photos: PPE/DutchPhotoPress/RVD

Week in Review: Crown Princess Mary, 25 March-7 April

1. Making a visit to a swimming meet, 25 March.
2. Visiting the National Memorial during the visit of the Prince of Wales and Duchess of Cornwall, 26 March.
3. Official dinner for the British couple, 26 March.
4. On the last day of the visit, at the set of The Killing, 27 March. Shame about the boots there, but the ladies were told to avoid heels due to the terrain (she replaced them with regular shoes for the rest of the day).

5. a) Opening a mother and child center, 28 March, in b) H&M.
6. Attending the premiere of the movie A Royal Affair, 28 March. I can't look. The shoes, my eyes, they hurt.
7. a and b) Opening the e-Skills 2012 Conference, 30 March.

Week in Review: Crown Princess Mary, 18-24 March

1. Opening a conference on vulnerable children, 19 March.
2. Welcoming the Prince of Wales and the Duchess of Cornwall to Denmark, 24 March.

Week in Review: Princess Máxima, 4-10 March

1. At a seminar on microfinance, 6 March.
2. Attending a national coaching day promoting entrepreneurship, 7 March.
3. a) At a gala dinner for the Conservation Foundation, 7 March, with b) some killer purple earrings and her tutti frutti style bracelet.
4. Attending TOP talent for women breakfast, 8 March.

Photos: Dutch Photo Press/PPE

Week in Review: Princess Mathilde, 4-10 March

1. a and b) Commemorating the 500th anniversary of the birth of Gerard De Kremer (Gerardus Mercator), 4 March. Fact: in the chilly months you are likely to catch yours doing her gallivanting in a houndstooth coat. I love it. Mine, however, is not a former member of a maternity wardrobe.
2. Visiting a women's home, 6 March.
3. Celebrating the 25th anniversary of Payoke, 8 March. ANNOUNCEMENT: this is one of my all-time favorite Mathilde outfits. That is all.

Photos: APA PictureDesk/Nieuwsblad/Belga

Week in Review: The Duchess of Cambridge, 19-25 February

1. Walking the dog, 20 February.
2. Visiting schools for The Art Room, 21 February, in Orla Kiely. This is, like, half cute and half something Grandma that stopped shopping in 1978 might own. All I know is Grandma certainly wouldn't style it with SHOOTIES.

Because I know someone will object, let me define it for you:

• SHOOTIES: Anything and everything from the almost-but-not-really-just-kidding shoe-ish things up to the not-boots calf highlighters. For use by those that find them all to be fug and don't care enough to differentiate. To be said with an intonation appropriate for greeting one's archnemesis and to be written in all caps for emphasis. 

Photos: Lehtikuva/Zimbio

Week in Review: Princess Máxima, 22-28 January

1. A jubilee gala at the American Chamber of Commerce, 23 January. So refreshing when she gets all dressed up, isn't it?
2. a) Attending a special meeting of the council of state, 25 January, in b) Oscar de la Renta. Well, it's more Oscar - per my request - so that's good, though I expect the man that got all huffy at Michelle Obama for wearing a cardi to Buckingham Palace would not approve. And as for the hat, well, that looks like something Princess Elizabeth or Princess Margaret would have worn in the 1940s.
3. At the Green Fashion competition, 27 January with (a) and without (b) the coat. What a difference a comb and a part switch can make, no?

Photos: Purepeople/Abaca/PPE/Nieboer

Week in Review: Princess Máxima, 15-21 January

1. Visiting a music project and attending a New Year's reception, 17 January, in an old Oscar de la Renta coat. Let me tell you what we need more of in the royal sartorial sphere: Oscar de la Renta. Apart from devotee Queen Sofia...barely a scrap!
2. New Year's reception, 18 January.
3. a and b) Two different events, 19 January.
4. At Jumping Amsterdam with the family, 21 January. It's a caped family affair! Máxima has her Zara cape on, and a lovely little Sound of Music affair on Alexia there.

Photos: ANP/Belga/Lehtikuva

Royal Fashion Awards: The Ruby Jubilee Church Service

And we're back! Last day of Queen Margrethe's Ruby Jubilee celebrations, you ready?

First things first, Queen Margrethe presided over the 500th State Council meeting of her reign. Next up, the whole family piled onto the balconies to wave merrily at the crowds.

Even Princess Marie turned up! Quite a surprise, as you can see she is very close to delivering what is no doubt the most anticipated jubilee present of all: Queen Margrethe's 8th grandchild. Even other assorted family members and Scandinavian heads of state got in on the balcony fun before everyone headed to a luncheon hosted by the crown princely couple.

Click to enlarge, as always

All well fed, they donned their hats and headed to a celebratory religious service at Christiansborg Palace Church. And it is here that our fun begins...

Jubilee Girls First...

Queen Margrethe

Purple, and even with a little bejeweled flair on the hat. Nicely done, Your Majesty.

Best in Kids

Princess Isabella

Left to Right: Prince Christian, Princess Isabella, Prince Nikolai, Prince Felix

 Because she brought her purse. I love that kid.

Best in Peekaboo Hats

Carina Axelsson

L to R: Crown Princess Mary of Denmark, Princess Benedikte of Sayn-Wittgenstein-Berleburg, Carina Axelsson, Queen Anne-Marie of Greece, Princess Elisabeth of Denmark

 Breathe this business in, fascinator haters of the world. A whole slew of full brims, just for you. Mary's lovely splash of blue and Benedikte's surprisingly saucy face-hider all get points from me, but Carina. Carina! Gorgeous coat and a completely wonderful hat shape. I want every piece for myself, please.

Best in Brown

Queen Silvia

L to R: Princess Nathalie of S-W-B, Queen Silvia of Sweden, Queen Sonja of Norway

 Yet another strange millinery selection from Princess Nathalie. It's like an upturned fabric salad bowl. Color me confused. This one has to go to Queen Silvia, if only out of relief that she left the cookie hats at home this time.

Best of the Rest

Princess Marie-Chantal

L to R: Princess Theodora of Greece, Princess Marie-Chantal of Greece, Crown Princess Mette-Marit of Norway, Princess Alexandra of S-W-B

 Theodora's choice was a little short in the skirt, but look how elegant! Love her little fur chapeau. She's been going towards the starlet route for a while now, it's kind of nice to see something a little more princessy. Also lovely and princessy was new arrival Mette-Marit (hi, M-M! Welcome to the fun, so glad you could join in!) and Princess Alexandra (who was a little bit jumbled, but fine overall). But my best goes to good old M-C. Nobody works the casual couture angle better. The girl knows how to put a look together.

P.S.: Because so many are asking...the light blue ribbon and medal you see many of these guests wearing is a commemorative medal for the jubilee.

Who was your best dressed at church today?

Next up: the jubilee banquet. The pictures are already arriving and I'll just tell you: the ladies brought it. Stay tuned.

Photos: Daylife/Getty Images/Zimbio/bt.dk/b.dk/DR1

Week in Review: Princess Mathilde, 11-17 December

Here's what Mathilde wore from 11-17 December:

 

1. Visiting Gedinne, 13 December.
2. At the University Hospital in Liege to visit victims of the gun and grenade attacks, 14 December.

Photos: APA Picture Desk/Reuters

Week in Review: Princess Charlene, 11-17 December

Here's what Charlene wore from 11-17 December:

1. At the Arbre de Noel for Monaco's children, 14 December. See, appearances like this are what get me. Elegant silhouette, great classy hair...beige beige beige.
2. a and b) Spreading more Christmas joy, 15 December. Much better with just even a little pop of blue!
3. Visiting College Charles III (a school), 16 December. If it isn't beige, it's black! This one has a little off-duty nun flair to it.
4. Receiving an award and attending a charity gala in Berlin, 17 December. Color! A whole outfit of it! A shade of red I'll call "almost brown". I think she looks fab, in what I'm guessing is Akris (of course).

Photos: Daylife/GettyImages/Frederic Nebinger/WireImage/Purepeople/Junior/BestImage

Week in Review: Princess Mathilde, 27 November - 3 December

Here's what Mathilde wore from 27 November - 3 December:

1. Meeting military families, 3 December. I am, as ever, baffled by the brown/beige and gray combo - that's a page out of Máxima's book - but YAY for capes.

Photo: Getty Images/Zimbio

Week in Review: Crown Princess Victoria, 13-19 November

Here's what Victoria wore from 13-19 November:

1. a and b) On an official visit to Järfälla, 14 November, wearing an H&M maternity coat with a By Malene Birger scarf. The coat is actually maternity wear, which is awesome because I think she's been making do with tent dresses and repeats intended for not-pregnant people for too long - as you can see in (b), because that coat is from pre-pregnancy days and it will not close anymore.
2. Attending a lunch at the palace, 15 November.
3. a) At the World Child and Youth Forum at the Royal Palace, 17 November, in a dubious shoe choice with those tights. The whole family was there, with an apparent winter white and/or brown dress code (b and c).

This one is actually from 11 November, presenting awards at the Royal Swedish Academy of War Science's gala:

And I think we might finally have a winner! A great maternity gown, even if she has caught her sister's fur shrug flu (this one is from Malina). This gives me great hope that she might pull out something stunning for the upcoming Nobel Prize ceremony. Fingers crossed, everyone!

Photos: Purepeople/Abaca/Kungahuset/Lehtikuva

Week in Review: Princess Charlene, 13-19 November

Here's what Charlene wore from 13-19 November:

1. Attending the Parish Saint-Martin Centenary Anniversary Celebration Mass, 13 November.
2. a) Handing out packages at Monaco's Red Cross Christmas celebration, 17 November, b) in an Akris suit with a boxy little jacket. This outfit inspired some of you to ask me if I think she's pregnant...and I have to tell you, the whole Bump Game gives me a case of the mehs. Until it becomes smack-you-upside-the-head obvious, I'm perfectly happy to be surprised when the parents-to-be decide to share the news. This is, like, the one area in which I actually do consider how I personally would feel if someone placed the same microscope on me. (Usually, my response to that argument would be: "Give me a tiara and you can say what you want, yo." Only without the yo because I can't actually pull that off in real life.) Yeah. Those that want to analyze the state of my belly should be forewarned that I have ninja skillz and I am not afraid to use them. ANYWAY: rant over, to each their own. Not my deal, is all I'm saying.
3. At the annual presentation of the Order of St. Charles and Grimaldi, 17 November, hiding behind Albert.
4. National Day, fierce day activities, 19 November.
5. National Day, tragic evening activities, 19 November (also in Akris).

She also visited the No Finish Line charity, but since she did (and wore) the same thing on the 20th too we'll just chat about it next week.

Photos: Purepeople/Abaca/Palais Princier/Marcio Madeira/Firstview.com/Style.com

Royal Fashion Awards: National Day in Monaco

Well friends, the day of reckoning has arrived, in which we begin to sort out what kind of National Day Princess Charlene will lead. And the results...are a mixed bag. So, business as usual for the Monaco bunch, basically. To the awards!

Worst of the Mixed Bag

Princess Charlene

Straight out of the gate, Charlene was an early favorite for the best dressed lady of the day. Yes, it's beige, and it's nonhatted. But it borders on a fierce level of chic with the cape (yay!) and the long gloves (YAY!) and just the right amount of textural contrast to the skirt. Plus, the hair and makeup are perfection - Her Serene Highness was glowing. So how on earth did she end up with a "Worst" award? Because the night came...

...and THIS happened. CHAR. Sweetie. It's like a Juicy Couture sweatsuit on evening duty. But the thing is, I'd be prepared to take the fabric and the single sleeve shenanigans if we could get a proper color up in here (you could call this "mink", I suppose; I'll go with "barn mouse") and a makeup and hair combo that didn't wash her out all alien-like. And you know, you know, I'd forgive every single above sin if she would've gone the tiara route. But she didn't, and my hopes have been forever dashed.

Best and Also Worst Because I'm Sad

Princess Caroline

Put Charlene and Caroline together and I think you've got one of the least formal, least blinged-out National Day galas in quite some time. Le sigh. I give up. In other news, Caroline's looking notably lovely - my irrational disappointment aside, she really did look younger than she's looked in a while.

Most in Need of a Switcheroo

Princess Caroline and Charlotte Casiraghi

As a matter of fact, she looked so young I'm gonna throw something out there: I think she and her daughter got their outfits mixed up. Caroline's day outfit, with a hat so very reminiscent of the one Charlotte wore to Albert's coronation, could use a dose of Charlotte's youthful irreverence, while Charlotte looks like she's been caught playing dress up in her mom's business suits. I like them both, I'm just saying: maybe we've got a Freaky Friday situation on our hands.

Best Expression

Princess Alexandra

I like this kid, and her wee polka dot tights. I like to think that expression says, "I'm in on the joke, and you're not." And clearly she's right!

Best Streak

Princess Stephanie

I don't know, guys. She was pretty good at the big wedding, and now I'm really liking her demure take on National Day. Here's hoping she keeps up the streak, as entertaining as her foibles can be.

Most Dependable

Prince Albert, Andrea Casiraghi, Pierre Casiraghi

Whether you're disappointed in the ladies or not, you can always turn to the men for a solid sartorial appearance, right? Right.

What did you make of family's National Day appearances?

Photos: Getty Images/Reuters/Daylife/PLS Pool/Zimbio

Week in Review: Princess Máxima, 6-12 November

Here's what Máxima wore from 6-12 November:

1. Opening Money Week 2011, 7 November. A cape! Yay! I hope she swooped it around a bit, if so then I will forgive the matchy-matchy shoes.
2. At the opening conference of the European Office of the Sustainability Consortium, 8 November. A thoroughly typical outfit, topped with a new Natan coat.
3. Attending the Erasmus Prize award ceremony, 9 November. This is a little...lackluster, no?
4. Receiving the first coin made for Money Week, 10 November.
5. Welcoming Sinterklaas (St. Nicholas) with her daughters, 12 November. My, my, I'm not sure when the last time was our colorful Máx was this monochrome for whole week (leave it to her to go with a reddish week instead of a grayish one, at least - bless!). We need some color variety, and for that we turn to the A-Team and their jaunty chapeaux:

Well done ladies, well done.

Photos: PPE/v.d. Werf/Dutch Photo Press/Nieboer

Week in Review: Princess Mathilde, 6-12 November

Here's what Mathilde wore from 6-12 November:

1. a and b) Visiting Maison de la Parentalité, 8 November. Ah! Another contestant in our Best Red Coat Contest. So, kids, how about this one? I'm a little dubious about the split of the ruffles, but even if I wasn't, the matching shoes kill it for me. The over-matching is a Mathilde trademark, and one I wish she'd wean herself from.
2. At the Antwerp book fair with the family, 10 November.
3. Commemorating Armistice Day at the Menen Gate, 11 November. Love this. It's solemn for the occasion, but it's also just so cute, right down to the oversize poppy.

Photos: Lavenir/Boekenbeurs/Zimbio/Getty Images

Week in Review: Princess Letizia, 30 October-5 November

Here's what Letizia wore from 30 October-5 November:

1. a) Attending the Francisco Cerecedo Journalism Awards, 2 November, in b) Hugo Boss. Her innards appear to have caught fire.
2. At Fiesta de la Banderita, fundraising for the Red Cross, 3 November.

Photos: Daylife/Getty Images/Hugo Boss

Week in Review: Princess Charlene, 9-15 October

Here's what Charlene wore from 9-15 October:

1. At the Monaco Humanitary Group Presentation, 11 October. I think it's the neckline that makes this one. It's simple to the point of boring, but she looks chic. The shoes seem to be a bronze color, though they look brown in some pictures (which, if true, would have to result in a revocation of the "chic" declaration, I'm afraid).
2. Watching the Rugby World Cup in Auckland, 15 October.

Photos: PurePeople/Best Image/Daylife/Getty Images