Showing posts with label Hmm.... Show all posts
Showing posts with label Hmm.... Show all posts

Tuesday, April 9, 2013

Weekly Royal Fashion Awards: March 31-April 6

Best in Scotland
The Countess of Strathearn
She went to Scotland, she wore tartan. I'm partial to the red one here, though to be honest neither one is grabbing my attention too much.

Best of the Rest
Princess Letizia, Crown Princess Mette-Marit, Princess Máxima
Letizia attending a reception for U.N. Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon; Mette-Marit visiting Church City Mission; Máxima receiving the first 1001 Women stamps
As for the rest of our leading ladies, Letizia looks fab, but I don't know, black...something about mourning the current state of the Spanish monarchy... Anyway, Mette-Marit gets a pass too - look Ma, no SHOOTIES! - and Máxima does too as long as you give up all hope on her everyday hair situation.

And a (Dis)Honorable Mention to...
Princess Märtha Louise
At a reception for Norwegian athletes
It's as though she knew it was a slow week for the rest of our regulars, and she chipped in with...this. Well, bless her heart. Let me tell you what makes this outfit a true masterpiece: the boots. Because a lace print and the plaid stolen from a Craigslist sofa is not enough, oh no. You've got to get blue boots with fringe-y bits stuck all over them. A masterpiece indeed, and our first real front-runner for Worst of 2013, I say.

Who was your best dressed last week?

Photos: WPA Pool/Getty Images/Bauer Griffin/Abaca/StellaPictures/PPE/Getty Images

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Things That Make You Go Hmm...: Victoria the Hula Girl

I didn't know Sweden had hula girls!
Crown Princess Victoria attends a Star for Life Choir concert wearing Swedish brand Altewai.Saome.

I didn't know you could make jewelry out of Legos!
This has been most educational. I'd like to thank Victoria for selflessly sacrificing her personal style to teach us this important lesson.

(And now that we're all learned up, can we never wear this again? Excellent.)

Photos: Belga

Sunday, August 26, 2012

Things That Make You Go Hmm...: Enough with the Fascinators Already, I'm Begging You

Crown Princess Victoria was present for the ordination of a new bishop at Uppsala Cathedral on August 26th.
Dear Victoria,

That is not a hat.

A posh dreamcatcher, maybe, but definitely not a hat.

Just thought you should know.

Concerned about your facial tan lines,
-OoS

Photos: Svenskakyrkan/Skovdenyheter/Sodor

Monday, May 14, 2012

Things That Make You Go Hmm...: The Pioneer Overdose

For those that don't follow celebrity or model fashion, the Met Gala (a.k.a. the Costume Institute Gala held at the Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York City) is kind of like the Oscars, for fashion. It's a night that values the runway and couture before anything else, and it's great outlandish fun for anyone that loves fashion for fashion's sake.

This year's gala was held last week and featured a guest list full of models, celebrities, and designers. But look who else was spotted, stealth in the background of the celeb shots:
It's Laura Ingalls Wilder's pregnant prairie mom! Also known as Crown Princess Mette-Marit, who is neither pregnant nor a frontier-blazing wife in 19th century America making clothes out of old drapes because she's out of chickens to trade for better fabric.

We know Mette-Marit is addicted to a good ruffle, this is a fact. And it's no surprise that the current state of frilly shabby chic trotting down the Valentino runway is catnip to her. But. MM, sweetie. This is atrocious. You are so much lovelier than this.
Valentino Spring 2012 Couture
If there's a bright side to this, it's that the royal court confirmed that this dress was only on loan from Valentino for the night and was not purchased (an unusual confirmation, seemlingly made in light of the fact that the frock costs somewhere in the neighborhood of $17,000), so we'll only see it once. But I think this is a warning sign, and we need to just go ahead and say it: it's time to let the butter churning chic go.

Photos: Just Jared/Style.com

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Things That Make You Go Hmm...: Daisy's Party Hat

We haven't even discussed the sartorial horrors we don't want to see repeated in 2012 yet (Friday!), but I thought you should know that Queen Margrethe has a late entry to the game:
Look at this magnificent New Year's Eve party outfit. Just look at it. Now, it looks like it was a costume party to me, but that's the great thing about Daisy: one never quite knows.

And if it was indeed a fancy dress shindig, here's my question: What on earth is she trying to be? A Vegas construction worker with an accidentally smashed raven underneath his hat? A robber fresh from her haul at the Alexander McQueen showroom? Hmm. Anybody wanna try and explain this one? 

Photo: Svenskdam

Friday, October 14, 2011

Things That Make You Go Hmm...: The Hollywood Royals

Is it fair to judge someone fairly on the outskirts of royal life by royal standards? Maybe not, but life's rough. And sometimes things just look ridiculous, royal or not.

Sophie Winkleman, also known as Lady Frederik Windsor, is the daughter-in-law of Prince and Princess Michael of Kent.  She and Freddles live in L.A. She's an actress. And this is her Armani-clad sideboob:
Enough with the boobage and the harem pants. One is not Beyonce.

If you're going to go the ironic tuxedo route, at least cover it up like Charlotte Casiraghi did.
Though it's worth mentioning that one is not the Clark Kent of Monaco, I think.

Sometimes the fashion has nothing to do with it. I was delighted to see one of my favorite stylish royals, Princess Tatiana of Greece, out and about; I think she looks absolutely gorgeous. But then she had to go and do that thing she does with the starlet posing.
Knock it off. One is no longer in the running to become Greece's Next Top Model.

Likewise, I'm always happy to see Princess Marie-Chantal of Greece and her socialite couture-heavy style. When I first saw her red dress, I was in love - she's actually wearing color!
And then I got the full length view.
It's like my two least favorite sorts of shoes - brogues and SHOOTIES - mated and gave birth to this mixed species animal baby. One should really stop competing with one's self for the title of oddest pair of leopard print shoes. Hmm indeed.

Photos: Getty Images for Giorgio Armani/Daily Mail/Life/Newscom/Billy Farrell Agency/Style.com/Vogue

Thursday, September 1, 2011

Things that Make You Go Hmm...: Queen Silvia and Her Stripes

Oh, Sil...I don't know about this one, girl.
Queen Silvia at the presentation of the 2011 Stockholm Water Prize, 25 August.
Yeah, I gotta object to the sparkle this time. (I KNOW. I can't believe it either.) Make it matte, chop it at the knees, wear it on a sunny summer day, and we'd be in business. Not even the magical powers of sparkle can make a picnic frock into formal gear.

Also, I think that blonde Chewbacca skin might be alive.

Photos: Stella Pictures/Svenskdam

Thursday, April 21, 2011

Things That Make You Go Hmm...: Margrethe the Birthday Girl

A few days ago, Queen Margrethe celebrated her birthday, and I thought it was a rousing fashion success.
Strong color, good fit. Total win for the 71-year-old birthday girl.

She must have agreed, because she brought it out again yesterday. And she added a few things...
World's largest neck bow? Letizia and Mette-Marit have nothing on this Queen's scarves.

Oh, and she added a hat. No, excuse me, an upturned oil funnel.
Or maybe it's a leftover party hat? A blueberry straight off the vine? The receptor for her alien sartorial communications? Oh, Marge.

This is not so much a hmm... as it is a ha! I ask you: how can you not love her? She's always good for a chuckle, so darn cheerful in her crazy clothing concoctions. Would that we were all so utterly unselfconscious! May she have many happy, nuttily attired returns.


Photos: stiften.dk

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Things That Make You Go Hmm...: Is it April 29th yet?

Well, I think it's time for April 29th to get here, because things are starting to get a little weird.
When you've reached the point where you can grab your William and Kate beer out of your William and Kate refrigerator with your William and Kate manicured hand, while wearing your William and Kate shoes...
...it may be time to move on. Clearly the souvenir people have had a little too much time to think about this.

Though maybe some of them could stand to put a little more thought into it. Hmm...

Actually, the Harry and Kate mug is worth a purchase. I could sip from it while dining on my new china:
(I may be one of the aforementioned people that should really move on for best mental health.)

Yeah, it's time for April 29th to get here. The souvenirs are out of control, and the media is clearly out of things to talk about.


We're with you, Kate. These "headlines" make us all a little more haggard. Good thing for you you're still the third most attractive royal, according to a nifty little piece of journalism brought to my attention by reader Susan, who must have sensed in her infinite wisdom that I was about to write this post.

When we reach the point where we're comparing the beauty of Princess Grace to Princess Fiona of Shrek (not kidding), it's time to stop.


Too bad April 29th won't whisk all of our problems away. I just...you guys...I can't.

Sunday, April 17, 2011

Things That Make You Go Hmm...: Elena, Again

Princess Elena (a.k.a. Infanta Elena, if you're feeling proper) is at it again, with the weird suits. I just thought you should know.
You know what this is? It's a sartorial Rorschach test. She's presented us with some blobs of ink, on fabric instead of paper, and now we have to determine what we see.
I see...the remnants of a 1991 garage sale in Arizona...a tie-dye bra experiment gone wrong...an amateur fashion critic grateful that this one doesn't come with matching trousers...and a lovely princess with a fantastic figure that's completely hidden beneath an egregiously loud print.

What do you see, hmm?

Monday, March 14, 2011

Things That Make You Go Hmm...: The Prince's Shoes

William and Kate were out for lunch on Sunday, and for once, her outfit isn't the one I want to talk about.
Can we discuss the Prince's shoes, please? Lunch at an upscale club in trainers straight off the football pitch. (Did I say that right? Is "pitch" right? I don't follow the volleyball.) Thing is, this isn't the first time he's done this to what would otherwise be a perfectly acceptable outfit.
Here we have him leaving a club, all casual and cool. I'd even call this one of his more attractive appearances, except:
See, now I just want to take a shower. And it appears to be a family affair:
Boys, boys, boys. As a Shoe Person, this pains me. And it's gotta pain Prince Charles too, right? I mean, that man's so well-groomed his pajamas are probably bespoke.

Anybody else bothered here? Or am I the only one with a shoe concern that extends this far? (Probably.)

Photos: Big Pictures/Matrix Photos/Daily Mail/Diedda Bushell/XclusivePix.com

Monday, March 7, 2011

Things That Make You Go Hmm...: Letizia's Safety Pin

Let the gala dinners for 2011 begin! The President of Chile is in Spain right now, and they've rolled out the red carpet and tiaras in proper form. Our friend Letizia was all spiffed up for the occasion:
Now, when I saw these pictures, I really couldn't get past the hairdo, but reader Leslie (who clearly has better eyesight and a better attention span than I) emailed to note this: she's wearing a safety pin.

Yes, this is a frequent Letizia move: the safety pin to secure the sash.
Whereas most royal ladies get by with a single brooch to secure their sashes (in the front), Letizia often opts for two: her fleur de lys brooch and the safety pin, as you can see above and as you can see if you squint really close in the photo below (the safety pin's on her shoulder):
Of course, on some nights, she only wears one. And what I really don't understand is why she makes it the safety pin.
Especially on nights like tonight, when the sash is so substantial.

To be fair, here's a close up of the pin (or one of them, maybe she has one in silver/platinum as well?). It is indeed bejeweled:
But still. It just makes me wonder if she realizes that from far away, it doesn't appear to be a jewel; it appears to be a sewing box staple. Hmm...

And, because I must, the rest of this evening's look:
As I say, I never got past the hair. Are there hair extensions or pieces involved in there, do you think? That's just a whole lot of hair, right?

Moving on...I adore a full skirt, and I don't mind the little sleeved top either. But maybe an ensemble so simple is better suited to a sash with more interest than this one?

Oh, and also: it's been reported that Letizia has a new tiara (on which her fleur de lys brooch is supposed to be the centerpiece). Where is it? Hmm? Clearly she wasn't planning on using the brooch. Are you telling me she doesn't have the same need I do to play with my presents as soon as I receive them?


Photos: Getty/Daylife

Sunday, February 27, 2011

Things That Make You Go Hmm...: Crooked?

Thanks to avid speculation that Prince William and Kate Middleton would be attending the wedding of Lady Katie Percy (daughter of the Duke and Duchess of Northumberland) and Patrick Valentine this weekend, we've got loads of photos of an awfully grand country wedding to delight in and shake our heads at.

Kate and Wills may have been a no-show, but Pippa Middleton and Chelsy Davy turned up to give the photographers something to snap:
(Confession: I love Pippa's coat thing. Not the rest of the outfit, just that one part.)

Now, the point of my post: the bride. Normally, I wouldn't pick on a bride here unless they're actually royal. I mean, it just doesn't seem sporting. But...it has to be said:
WHAT IS HAPPENING WITH THAT TIARA? It's crooked! And it was crooked both going into the church and coming out, which leads me to think it might have been stuck on that way on purpose. (Surely her mum or her sister would have fixed her up if this was an accident?) The bride is a fairly nontraditional girl, I gather (she's a trained gunmaker, of all things), but...oh, I'm so confused.

Also: add this Bruce Oldfield gown to the reasons I hope he isn't the man for the job for Kate's big gown. It's not enough. She arrived in a carriage and the reception's at her family's castle which doubles as Hogwarts in the Harry Potter films. And this tiara is more grand than a lot of the royal wedding tiaras we see. Needs more!

Anyways, I'm done being mean to random people now. I just needed to let that out. Whew.

Photos: AFP/Getty Images/Daily Mail/Zimbio/Chris Jackson/Getty Images Europe/Christopher Furlong

Monday, January 24, 2011

Things That Make You Go Hmm...: Is that her...? Oh, no.

If you can get farther than the chest-ish area while reviewing Máxima's outfit here, you're a better person than I.
Nothing's sadder than a royal wardrobe malfunction. See through tops: a "hmm" if there ever was one.

(You know, there's something to be said about wearing your pretty underwear all the time, just in case. Food for thought.)

Any other royal wardrobe malfunctions you can think of? Since we're already shaking our heads in shame, and all.

Friday, December 31, 2010

Things That Make You Go Hmm...: Princess Claire and the Royal Ruff

I know these pictures from the Belgian royal family's Christmas concert are a little bit old by now, but we need to talk about this.
Focus your eyes amongst the gray on the grayest of them all, Princess Claire.
What's going on here?? This is a serious question. Is that fringy thing a necklace, or a part of the dress? Are my eyes really spying a neck ruff here? Somebody please explain this to me.

There hasn't been this much action around a royal neck since the days of yore. And I do mean yore:
We don't guillotine people anymore, Claire. There's no need to carry neck protection to these extents.

Photos: Zimbio/Mark Renders/Getty Images Europe